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Nobody's Delight

from My Own Car by Anthony Jay Sanders

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lyrics

Lately you've been acting far past just resigned
Is there something that you can't admit on your mind?
I can listen and not stir
and be the listener you were
Do you think that I'm combative when you try?
I can speculate, but I've got to know why
I won't freak out when I hear
you're not proud when I appear
You wake up with the sun
You come home in the dark
You say “fuck” to yourself
when you parallel park
You have days of your own
Why should I intersect
and leave a ring of rain
on your tired neck?

Didn't fold my hands once on Holy Week
I have fantasies where I forget how to speak
I dip my toe, but never dive
I'm no fun at 25
Thought of walking down to Southern Illinois
Find a nondescript town, become employed
Learn to drive in secrecy
Do you think that's the life for me?
Rhys was talking to me
at the Taco Bell
He had decade-spanning
sad sagas to tell
Is suspended grief
what you'd diagnose?
That is not what I want
That is not even close

I won't be found for a while
I've been making strange and secret decisions
I put my stuff in a pile
Let a card from my parents tear up my vision
Then I'll walk
like I planned to
It's all I can do
It's all I want

I'm so happy that you came, I really am
It's been lonelier than home with Abraham
Everything is printed there
Here's the money and the chair
We can go through every talk I floundered in
I will set it to dramatic violin
and to nobody's delight,
I might really get it right

credits

from My Own Car, released March 16, 2023

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Anthony Jay Sanders Chicago, Illinois

I sing for The Island of Misfit Toys, I sing for myself, and I definitely sing for you. This is a place to gradually release everything that isn't TIOMT.
For TIOMT music:
tiomt.bandcamp.com

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